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 Post subject: Re: Cheesy joke thread ......
PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2018 2:34 pm 
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From Ace of Spades HQ:

Quote:
The Saturday Night Joke

This is a story with a happy ending...

I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig."

“Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd cry. I can't stand to see a man crying.”

"This is the worst day of my life," I said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man ... and then my dog bit me."

"So, I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in it and sit here watching the poison dissolve. Then you show up and drink the whole damn thing! But, hell, enough about me, how are you doing?"

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 Post subject: Re: Cheesy joke thread ......
PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2018 12:49 pm 
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chijohnaok wrote:
From Ace of Spades HQ:

Quote:
The Saturday Night Joke

This is a story with a happy ending...

I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig."

“Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd cry. I can't stand to see a man crying.”

"This is the worst day of my life," I said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man ... and then my dog bit me."

"So, I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in it and sit here watching the poison dissolve. Then you show up and drink the whole damn thing! But, hell, enough about me, how are you doing?"

Well, yeah, if this humor in the current day US? :roll:

You are so fucked up, goodly. :shock:

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 Post subject: Re: Cheesy joke thread ......
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2018 6:54 am 
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For those of you who have no talent for singing but find themselves dragged by their friends to a karaoke bar, here is the perfect song for you to perform:



;)

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The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public’s money.
- misattributed to Alexis De Tocqueville

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 Post subject: Re: Cheesy joke thread ......
PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2018 10:30 am 
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Let's see if Nero is triggered by this one....

Quote:
The Saturday Night Joke
A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington DC. Nothing was moving.

Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they're asking for 100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire.

"We're going from car to car, collecting donations"

The driver asks "How much is everyone giving?"

The man replies, "Roughly a gallon"


Another joke posted at Ace of Spades HQ

_________________
The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public’s money.
- misattributed to Alexis De Tocqueville

No representations made as to the accuracy of info in posted news articles or links


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 Post subject: Re: Cheesy joke thread ......
PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2018 2:13 pm 
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chijohnaok wrote:
Let's see if Nero is triggered by this one....

Quote:
The Saturday Night Joke
A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington DC. Nothing was moving.

Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they're asking for 100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire.

"We're going from car to car, collecting donations"

The driver asks "How much is everyone giving?"

The man replies, "Roughly a gallon"
Congress: Bingo with billions. Red Skelton
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/red_skelton

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 Post subject: Re: Cheesy joke thread ......
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 2:27 pm 
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abradley wrote:

As the local catholic, you should have tons of juicy bishop and nun jokes. ;)

Don't be too shy or pious. ;)

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 Post subject: Re: Cheesy joke thread ......
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2018 2:10 am 
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nero wrote:
abradley wrote:

As the local catholic, you should have tons of juicy bishop and nun jokes. ;)

Don't be too shy or pious. ;)
No, must have heard a million, don't remember any.

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 Post subject: Re: Cheesy joke thread ......
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2018 2:11 pm 
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abradley wrote:
nero wrote:
As the local catholic, you should have tons of juicy bishop and nun jokes. ;)

Don't be too shy or pious. ;)
No, must have heard a million, don't remember any.

Sorry about your dementia. :(

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The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt

Mit der Dummheit kämpfen selbst Götter vergebens.


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 Post subject: Re: Cheesy joke thread ......
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2018 4:04 pm 
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buck private
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nero wrote:
Sorry about your dementia. :(
No need to be sorry, what I don't know never hurts you. Speaking of jokes have you heard the one about the prisoner who couldn't tell a joke, yah, I thought so, all my jokes are old and stale.

That's life.

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 Post subject: Re: Cheesy joke thread ......
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:23 am 
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abradley wrote:
nero wrote:
Sorry about your dementia. :(
No need to be sorry, what I don't know never hurts you. Speaking of jokes have you heard the one about the prisoner who couldn't tell a joke, yah, I thought so, all my jokes are old and stale.

That's life.

I am sorry miss the jokes... :(

Like these:


    Q: What do you call a Catholic service that is very, very important?
    A: Critical Mass

    Q: What kind of fun does a Catholic priest have?
    A: Nun

    Q: How is a Catholic priest like a Christmas tree?
    A: The balls are just for decoration.

    Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
    A: Virgin Mobile.

;)

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Mit der Dummheit kämpfen selbst Götter vergebens.


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