Cheesy joke thread ......

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robpost3
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Cheesy joke thread ......

#1 Post by robpost3 » Tue Oct 07, 2014 8:53 am

Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm are in a car and get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg goes, "No, but I know exactly where I am."
The cop replies, "You were doing 50 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts, "Great, now I'm lost!"
The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop the trunk. He checks it out, and goes, "Did you know you have a dead cat back here?"
Schrodinger shouts back, "We do now, asshole!"
The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.
In the beginning the universe was created.
This has made a lot of people angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
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NefariousKoel
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Re: Cheesy joke thread ......

#2 Post by NefariousKoel » Tue Oct 07, 2014 4:56 pm

That has to be the nerdiest joke I've ever heard. :lol:
Image

11Bravo
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Re: Cheesy joke thread ......

#3 Post by 11Bravo » Tue Oct 07, 2014 7:50 pm

8-)

Very cool joke.
Would an ape make a human doll that TALKS?

robpost3
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Re: Cheesy joke thread ......

#4 Post by robpost3 » Wed Oct 08, 2014 11:29 am

plenty of saltines fellas....just bring the cheese......

there is a band called 1023MB ....
They have not had any gigs yet ....


:D (dodging the rotten veggies)
In the beginning the universe was created.
This has made a lot of people angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
--Douglas Adams

C_S
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Re: Cheesy joke thread ......

#5 Post by C_S » Wed Oct 08, 2014 4:47 pm

A baby seal walked into a club



A skeleton walked into a bar - ordered a beer and a mop
This post is not a legal document under any circumstance. It has not been prepared at all and is written offhand in jest while mentally impaired.
Do not act or rely on any of this information without first seeking the advice of a psychoanalyst.

C_S
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Re: Cheesy joke thread ......

#6 Post by C_S » Wed Oct 08, 2014 4:51 pm

A sign behind the bar:

handjob - 5 dollars
Cheese sandwich - 2 dollars

Guy walks up to the barmaid:

excuse me, miss, are you the lady who gives the hand jobs?
YES I AM
wash ur hands and make me a cheese sandwich
This post is not a legal document under any circumstance. It has not been prepared at all and is written offhand in jest while mentally impaired.
Do not act or rely on any of this information without first seeking the advice of a psychoanalyst.

doggie
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Re: Cheesy joke thread ......

#7 Post by doggie » Fri Oct 31, 2014 1:38 am

One day a man from Alabama comes to Georgia to get an education. He goes to the first professor he sees and says, “What can you teach me?”

Shocked, the professor answers, “Well, I can teach you about the power of reasoning.”

With a questioned look on his face, the man replied, “What’s that?”

“I’ll give you an example,” said the professor. “Do you have a weedeater?”

Although the question seemed strange, the man answered, “Yes, I do”

“Well, if you have a weedeater, then you must have a yard, do you have a yard?”

The man nods.

“Then, if you have a yard, I’ll bet you have a house.”

Again, the man agrees.

“Because you have a house, you must have a wife?”

Once more, the man nods.

“If you have a wife, you must be heterosexual, correct?”

The man again agrees. The man finishes up the full course and heads back to Alabama. When he comes across his best friend, his friend’s first question was, “What did you learn?”

He replies, “I learned about the power of reasoning.”

“What’s that?” his friend asks.

Then the man asks him, “Well, do you have a weedeater?”

“Nope,” his friend replies.

The man then starts to walk away, and with a low voice says, “You faggot.”
First, we must kill moose and squirrel

robpost3
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Re: Cheesy joke thread ......

#8 Post by robpost3 » Fri Oct 31, 2014 9:19 am

An old man goes to the barbershop for a shave. He tells the barber, “My cheeks are so sunken in that I can’t get a good shave, can you help me out?” The barber gives him a ball from a cup and says, “Put this in your mouth against your cheeks to puff ‘em out, and I can give you a good shave.” So he does. After the shave, the old man said, “Gee, that’s a good shave, I haven’t had one like this in years! By the way, what would have happened if I had swallowed that ball?” The barber replied, “Oh, that’s okay! You can bring it back in two days like everyone else does!”
In the beginning the universe was created.
This has made a lot of people angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
--Douglas Adams

EZ8
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Re: Cheesy joke thread ......

#9 Post by EZ8 » Fri Oct 31, 2014 5:00 pm

Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it

nero
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Re: Cheesy joke thread ......

#10 Post by nero » Fri Oct 31, 2014 6:24 pm

There are two hard thing is computer science.

1) Naming things.
2) Cache invalidation.
3) Off by one errors.
A stupid person is a person who causes losses to another person or to a group of persons while himself deriving no gain and even possibly incurring losses. -- Carlo M. Cipolla

Mit der Dummheit kämpfen selbst Götter vergebens. -- Friedrich Schiller

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