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Harumpfh. English Gentlemen hardly need lectures on manners from some rabid colonial bumpkin



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 Post subject: Re: NHS--vasectomy by mistake.
PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 6:01 pm 
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I've also got everyone at work saying "take one up the chuff". I told them it means "to lose a contest or competition" :lol: :lol: Even the women are saying it.

"I'm sorry Bob, you're jsut going to have to take one up the chuff"

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 Post subject: Re: NHS--vasectomy by mistake.
PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 11:40 pm 
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Ha!

Your next challenge is to get them all 'just nipping out for a fag'.

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Guns don't kill people, healthcare kills people.

“There’s class warfare, all right,” Mr. Buffett said, “but it’s my class, the rich class, that’s making war, and we’re winning.”
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 Post subject: Re: NHS--vasectomy by mistake.
PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2016 1:58 pm 
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That would be good sport but will never happen as the human resource people would be all over us because of the American meaning.


You would have less chance of getting fired if you wore a white robe with a pointy hat to work (not the kind the Pope wears either).

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 Post subject: Re: NHS--vasectomy by mistake.
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 12:00 am 
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Yes it's a tough challenge.

That's why I've set it. 'You look like you're gasping for a fag, have one of mine'

The pointy hat thing... why not leave it to the week before Easter, then change the colour of robe and explain that you're exploring your Spanish, Catholic heritage? Then when you are dismissed you can raise a claim for racial and religious discrimination.

Image

These parades are a bit weird to the unfamiliar, but certainly not menacing.

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Guns don't kill people, healthcare kills people.

“There’s class warfare, all right,” Mr. Buffett said, “but it’s my class, the rich class, that’s making war, and we’re winning.”
Ben Stein, New York Times 26/11/06


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 Post subject: Re: NHS--vasectomy by mistake.
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:47 am 
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Well, it IS a Catholic health organization so if you mentioned Easter you would be OK. One of the actual gay gays wore a catholic priest's outfit for Halloween. Funnier than Hell but I don't think most got the joke.

I will try the "Fancy a fag?" thing at a meeting and then produce some cigarettes. I'll let you know. Nobody will take me up on the offer because nobody smokes. It would get a big laugh at a family gathering

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 Post subject: Re: NHS--vasectomy by mistake.
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 9:03 am 
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If they don't want a fag you could offer some spotted dick perhaps.

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 Post subject: Re: NHS--vasectomy by mistake.
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 1:31 am 
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As they are non-smokers...

Not to be confused with cigarettes:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faggot_%28food%29

This is a regional thing; we don't have faggots where I'm from. I've never even seen one. I'm sure EUB eats them all the time though.

'Hi team, I've brought some tasty faggots in for you to sample.'

You're going to say 'all my colleagues are vegetarians'.

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Guns don't kill people, healthcare kills people.

“There’s class warfare, all right,” Mr. Buffett said, “but it’s my class, the rich class, that’s making war, and we’re winning.”
Ben Stein, New York Times 26/11/06


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 Post subject: Re: NHS--vasectomy by mistake.
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 12:04 pm 
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Sweet Baby Jesus! That is disgusting. Minced pig heart and liver? Don't you people have dog food over there?

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 Post subject: Re: NHS--vasectomy by mistake.
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 12:09 pm 
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Faggots with some spotted dick after, mm mmm!

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 Post subject: Re: NHS--vasectomy by mistake.
PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2016 10:28 am 
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http://www.odditycentral.com/news/engli ... -list.html

Quote:
English Engineer Performs Surgery on Himself After Being Put on Waiting List

By Spooky on September 19th, 2016 Category: News

Graham Smith, an engineer from Lancashire, England, was recently in the news for performing surgery on himself to remove eight millimeters of stitches left by surgeons inside his body years ago, after operations to correct it were cancelled twice.

Smith had underwent bowel surgery 15 years ago, and was left with stitches protruding through the skin on his abdomen. He first brought up the issue with the hospital where he had the original surgery in 2011, but he was put on a waiting list and an operation to fix the problem was cancelled twice. Rather than waiting for his turn and risk of dying of septicaemia, the crafty engineer decided to operate on himself, using modified titanium instruments he sourced from a dentist friend.

“I tried to do it through the normal channels… but I had septicaemia,” Mr. Smith told the BBC. “I didn’t make the decision lightly – I was desperate, but I had to take control of it and I was not prepared to sit and die on a waiting list.”

Regarding the wire protruding through his abdomen, Graham said it was a lump of nylon 8mm-long with 12 really tight compressed knots. “I couldn’t just cut it off as it might have retracted and I would have been in real trouble so I had to undo these knots one by one and I had to make a few tools to allow me to do this,” he said in a recent interview. “There was a bit of blood and it stung a bit but I was confident in what I was doing.”

Believe it or not, the surgery was a success, and Smith says that after 15 years he now feels like a new man. The original operation had left him “hunched over and leaning to the left”, but he managed to fix the problem by meticulously removing the botched stitching.

“I’m a specialist engineer. I do jobs people can’t do, but I’m not a surgeon so don’t try this at at home,” he cautioned anyone contemplating DIY surgery. A spokesman for the Royal College of Surgeons also said that they would “strongly advise” against people performing surgery on themselves or others. “If you do try to perform self-surgery without surgical training, there is a high risk that the procedure could go wrong, or damage another part of the body. There is also a possibility of infection,” they said.

Aintree Hospital, in Liverpool, where Graham Smith had his original surgery, said in a statement that he he had been booked in for a consultation last Monday and that it would contact him about his care.

Graham is certainly not the first and probably not the last person to attempt operating on themselves. Back in 2011, we posted the story of Wu Yuanbi, a Chinese woman who performed surgery on herself using an ordinary kitchen knife due to not being able to afford a proper clinical procedure.

Source: BBC

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